In the palm of His hand and loving it there

I am going to share a "day in my life walking with the Lord" Actually it is going to be more like 5 days...Dec 27 2006...4:45 am... I get up... get bundled up for my walk and time with the Lord along the Saskatchewan River....As I get to the door I feel really sketchy and nervous...So I grab a little knife...and put it in my pocket...I get into my truck..I keep checking behind me...With the sense like someone is going to come over the back seat...It is all kinda of creepy.. Anyway...I get to the river....It is super dark and super cold -30...I start on my walk...I am singing to the Lord...turning around constantly...just sketchin...I mean checkin...I had this odd feeling like I was going to get jumped...Along the walk there are little patches of trees...every time I come up to them I would stiffen up and make sure I had my little knife... in you know "protect myself position" I am weirded out by all of this...I have gone down to the river a bazillion times at this time of the morning and never felt like this....I asked God "What is going on...why am I scared?" I mean I am down here meeting you...He said, "You do not know Me like you should" He shared with me that our relationship was "shallow" I am like what the heck....I am at the river at 5 in the morning... to meet You...I spend time with you all the time...(arrogantly) More then most....He said, "Then why the knife? If you are all mine, and this was your time to come home to Me then you should be alright with that." I was embarrassed....He was right...I mean what if?...What would be the worst that would happen...I WOULD BE IN HEAVEN....Okay Dec 31 2007...I am invited to a praise and worship the Lord in...I asked if I could share a testimony...I shared my walk on the river...To a bunch of Christians that had their mouths open and I have to say they looked a little stunned...Maybe a little to real... a little to transparent for them...God also spoke to me about returning to my first love...(Rev 2 the church of Ephesus) Which He revealed to me that... He knows how much I love Him... That is not what He meant...BUT there was a time I trusted Him with a childlike trust...I obeyed immediately...He said "move"...I moved.. He said "stop"... I stopped....I trusted Him with out doubt or reservation....I instantly dumped all things that He revealed to me... were not pleaseing to Him instantly....That was what He meant...Even in the passage of scripture He shared with me... It is clear that this Church loved Jesus and persevered for His name sake.....Anyway...Jan 02 2007..I get up at 4:45 for my first walk of the New Year...I get to the door and said to God..."NO Knife"...jumped into my truck... a little edgy but I did not turn around...I get down to the river and it is so bright... the moon is reflecting off of the snow...and it was super warm...I did not need a jacket...I start dancing and singing...I did not slow down at the patches of trees... not even once...I asked Him..." How could you say that I don't know You as I should. I understand that my trust has taken a beating over this last little while but I also turn around quickly" What He said next broke my heart in two...He said..."I was with you that morning...I was what you "sensed" but you did not recognise My presence...you were uncomfortable in it.." I started to cry...I turned and looked into the sky and asked..."Did I hear you right?" Then all of a sudden this strong schnook blew over me...I am not sure why but I opened my mouth....
I sang...I twirled...I skipped...I held His hand
Peace