In the palm of His hand and loving it there

I am going to share a "day in my life walking with the Lord" Actually it is going to be more like 5 days...Dec 27 2006...4:45 am... I get up... get bundled up for my walk and time with the Lord along the Saskatchewan River....As I get to the door I feel really sketchy and nervous...So I grab a little knife...and put it in my pocket...I get into my truck..I keep checking behind me...With the sense like someone is going to come over the back seat...It is all kinda of creepy.. Anyway...I get to the river....It is super dark and super cold -30...I start on my walk...I am singing to the Lord...turning around constantly...just sketchin...I mean checkin...I had this odd feeling like I was going to get jumped...Along the walk there are little patches of trees...every time I come up to them I would stiffen up and make sure I had my little knife... in you know "protect myself position" I am weirded out by all of this...I have gone down to the river a bazillion times at this time of the morning and never felt like this....I asked God "What is going on...why am I scared?" I mean I am down here meeting you...He said, "You do not know Me like you should" He shared with me that our relationship was "shallow" I am like what the heck....I am at the river at 5 in the morning... to meet You...I spend time with you all the time...(arrogantly) More then most....He said, "Then why the knife? If you are all mine, and this was your time to come home to Me then you should be alright with that." I was embarrassed....He was right...I mean what if?...What would be the worst that would happen...I WOULD BE IN HEAVEN....Okay Dec 31 2007...I am invited to a praise and worship the Lord in...I asked if I could share a testimony...I shared my walk on the river...To a bunch of Christians that had their mouths open and I have to say they looked a little stunned...Maybe a little to real... a little to transparent for them...God also spoke to me about returning to my first love...(Rev 2 the church of Ephesus) Which He revealed to me that... He knows how much I love Him... That is not what He meant...BUT there was a time I trusted Him with a childlike trust...I obeyed immediately...He said "move"...I moved.. He said "stop"... I stopped....I trusted Him with out doubt or reservation....I instantly dumped all things that He revealed to me... were not pleaseing to Him instantly....That was what He meant...Even in the passage of scripture He shared with me... It is clear that this Church loved Jesus and persevered for His name sake.....Anyway...Jan 02 2007..I get up at 4:45 for my first walk of the New Year...I get to the door and said to God..."NO Knife"...jumped into my truck... a little edgy but I did not turn around...I get down to the river and it is so bright... the moon is reflecting off of the snow...and it was super warm...I did not need a jacket...I start dancing and singing...I did not slow down at the patches of trees... not even once...I asked Him..." How could you say that I don't know You as I should. I understand that my trust has taken a beating over this last little while but I also turn around quickly" What He said next broke my heart in two...He said..."I was with you that morning...I was what you "sensed" but you did not recognise My presence...you were uncomfortable in it.." I started to cry...I turned and looked into the sky and asked..."Did I hear you right?" Then all of a sudden this strong schnook blew over me...I am not sure why but I opened my mouth....
I sang...I twirled...I skipped...I held His hand
Peace

Not for the Weak Kneed

I sent this to all my brother's and sister's via e-mail and I am being prompted to add it here...I will continue to put this one up often and regularly...As a reminder to some...A New word for others.....In Love...In Him...Be courageous...Be Blessed

God brought this to my heart ....At the end of January.....I feel lead to delivery it to you all TODAY..

Today When you hear MY voice do not harden your hearts Today I have placed each of you in the valley...In the valley...

Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision.

You must choose...Me.... all the way..No more wavering...You must choose to believe without doubting .....You must make a decision to praise Me in all things...Honor Me in all things...Be with Me in all things...Be for Me in all things...Come with Me into all things...You must believe Me in all things.....TRUST ME...Today you must make that decision...

I AM NOT LIMITED... I AM NOT UNJUST...YOU MUST HAVE FAITH ...HEAR MY WORDS AND OBEY. YOU HAVE READ THEM A MILLION TIMES...NOW IT IS TIME TO WALK IN THEM...IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH!!!

MY RIGHTEOUS ONE'S SHALL LIVE BY FAITH;AND IF HE SHRINKS BACK, MY SOUL HAS NO PLEASURE IN HIM.

Behold, I am making all things new " And He said,
"Write, for these words are faithful and true."
Then He said to me, "It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.

Today when you hear MY voice don't harden your hearts THE TIME IS NOW !! Time to Wake up!!! Time to know ME!!! Time to Know Your God!!!! To know MY HEART AND KNOW MY VOICE....I HAVE HIDDEN NOTHING FROM ANY OF YOU...BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE A CHOICE...AND TURN NO MORE.
But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

TURN NO MORE.TURN NO MORE.TURN NO MORE.

The end is drawing nigh....Stuff is going to happen that unless we are planted....Unless we are rooted...brave...couragous...We will fail...If some says to you "If you do not take the mark we will kill you"...Unless you are rooted, planted, brave, couragous...Have absolute faith in Him and Him alone...RIGHT NOW...YOU WILL BE DECEIVED AND TAKE THE MARK...God said we would.We do not know exactly what that is all about...So unless we are walking in unity with Him we will not decern it! (REVELATIONS 13 AND 14)
IT IS TIME...GET REAL...WAKE UP...WAKE UP OUT OF YOUR SLUMBER....WAKE UP

TURN NO MORE.TURN NO MORE.TURN NO MORE.

The Work

I know...2 in one day...I should of mentioned that the introduction was one of a 2 part series...I will jump right in....

My daughter spends the summer holidays with her dad...For me it is a tough time, but I try to get stuff done...Basically I keep myself busy...One summer I decided...I wanted to volunteer at this "burn camp" for children in Rocky Mountain House Alberta. This camp caters to children who have suffered terrible burn injuries....and scars...This is a place where they can have fun, heal and not have to deal with those who have a hard time adjusting to visible differences...the sores and scars.

I want to interject here...God will use everything, anyone, all experiences to move us into position, to form us into the likeness of His Son...And for me this was going to be one of those experiences.

Well I go and apply to "volunteer", to only get a rejection...I was a bit taken back...Thank God He knows what I am suppose to do...Anyway....What came across was they did not think I realized what was involved or what I was getting into...So the good little "I will prove them wrong research hound that I am" I started on my info quest....
OKAY!!! They were right...I had no idea...A lot of these kids still had bandages that needed to be cleaned and changed daily...Raw wounds that were on the mend.. but raw...Long story short...And to my shame...I did not work at the camp...
BUT God taught me something about "The Work" ...I pray that this will shed some light... give a clearer understanding of why sometimes His work hurts...
Be encouraged!

I want you to read this slowly...Imagine what is being written...the best that you can...I encourage you to really stop and "feel" what I am writing...This is a God given illustration of "The Work" that is required to heal some of our hearts....And for some there is no other way to heal the wounds....

There is a child...And no fault of his own...he gets burnt...He gets burnt real bad...Third degree bad...Right down to the nerve...The little guy goes into shock......Somehow God has given us a safety net to protect us from this kind of pain... This kind of damage....He arrives at the hospital where he is medicated and bandaged ...
BUT first the burnt skin needs to be scubbed off ...For this first battle he is not awake , he feels no pain...He wakes up with little idea of what has happened.

Now for the second change...This time it is not so easy...The remaining burnt skin and some new have attached to the gauze...Causing it to take the skin with the bandage...This is so painful, but it is part of the healing process...You see the dead burnt skin has to be completely removed in order for the new skin to grow and grow properly. After the bandage is removed they have to scub the raw wound...To clean the area remove what every skin can be removed....Then the new bandage is applied....This happens at each change...until all the old skin has been cleaned away and removed. Then the new skin begins to form and heal...The changing of the bandages at this time is still painful but as much...

I watched a video on this process...I could not believe what this one child had to endure..5-6 times a day...everyday...I am not sure how long it was...but it was long enough....These nurses worked as fast as they could to get the job over with...I cried so hard...I just could not imagine the pain...It broke my heart...he was so little...And when it was over he slept and then a short while later he was awake and smiling...I think I cried more during his smiling then during his pain...WOW how could this little one be smiling after all of that.


And that is how it is for some of us....Alot of our wounds were not our fault...When the hurt was at it's maximum....Our mind does it's thing to shut out the pain...Sometimes we turn to outside stuff to do that too...Basically we shut down..shut off...

God is preparing to pour new wine...but not into old wineskins...He has to get rid of the dead burnt skin of our hearts...The process is alot like what happens to burn victims... When God showed me this all I asked Him was this..." I want to be as brave as that little guy...I want to smile each time You are through...give me courage!

Like the nurses God wants this work to go as quickly as possible....It has to get done!
Even though those lady moved fast and look emotionless....Only love could do that kind of work....I can't say for sure...but I bet... Part of the reason that little guy could smile was because of the love that those people showed him before, during and after!!!
Keep Smilin...The Work is almost over!

His will be done...The journey begins

I want to start by sharing a bit of my walk with you...So you can get a sense of who I am becoming...I think I want to start about 4 years into my journey with the Lord...During the most revealing...hardest portion of valley I have ever endured, so far....I guess that is why David called it "the valley of the shadow of death" I had only been married for about 8 months and they were the worst of times and the best of times...and the worst of the worst of times...Anyway....

The worst of the worst of times... because so many people got hurt due to my lack of faith and selfishness... The worst of times because we could not and would not over come... And the best of times because I am where I am with Him today...right in the palm of His hands.

One day during one of the w-of-w-of times...I went to one of my favorite spots...This super cool little second-hand book store...One side was all christian stuff and the other side was other stuff...I basically stayed on the one side... anyway...Before I went in this one day I sat in my truck talking with Jesus...I said, " Lord you are sitting on the right hand of the Father interceding for me right now... I want my prayer to line up with yours, I want what you want for me, so please reveal to me your heart toward me so I can be on the same page...In your name with Your heart Amen!"... So inside the book store I go...I would get lost for hours in there...Some how I made my way to shhhhhhhhhh the other side...And as I walked around this big red book with bold gold letters down it 's spine caught my eye....It read "HEPBURN" Today just happened to be the day that she "Kathrine Hepburn" died.... I sat down on the floor and pulled out the big red book....First I love that era...To me women were at their most glamorous...Natural made-up beauty..(Plastic surgery wasn't super big yet) and Kathrine Hepburn was one of the beauties I admired...Not to impressed with her personal/private life...but if she wasn't famous I would not know any of that junk....Anyway...that's another blog.... Okay, so I go straight for the pictures...Those awesome glamour black and whites...I come to a page with a picture of her and Spencer Tracey...They look great and I started to read this interview with Spencer Tracey....And that is when the Lord said to me, "What I pray for you is on this page." Ya okay...As if God is going to use this "book" to speak to me...Half way down the page...I read it...And I knew it....I slammed the book shut and put it back...I practically ran out of the store....Got into my truck...Started to cry and confess " I WILL NOT PRAY THAT, NO WAY"...He said to me, " You asked me and I am answering you, Beppie this is my heart for you and my prayer"...I only fought Him for a couple of days then I joined my faith and tied my trust to Him...On that page, during an interview the reported asked Spencer Tracey, "Spencer describe Kathrine" he said...And this is Jesus prayer for me...

"She is vulnerable and able to handle it."

I knew what that meant...And when you battle rejection, abandonment and fear those are the scariest words you could ever hear...Then to accept that, that is the Lords heart for you...Well time to let go and surrender...cuz you know His will...will be done!